Noun: introject  `intru'jekt

(psychoanalysis) parental figures (and their values) that you introjected as a child; the voice of conscience is usually a parent's voice internalized

Verb: introject  `intru'jekt

Incorporate (attitudes or ideas) into one's personality unconsciously

Unfortunately I discovered the concept of introjection rather late in life after I had floundered for many years struggling with and unconsciously demonstrating its power through various and sundry inappropriate behavior. 

Carrying around an accumulation of internalized values and ideas that date to the 1940’s and 1950’s is not as fun as it sounds.  I don’t share some of my contemporaries’ notions of “the good old days.”

As a child I was such a willing and apt pupil, wanting to please authority at any cost.  I lapped up all the paranoia and restrictive, contradictory rules and regulations the grownup world could throw at me with the eagerness of a cocker spaniel.

As an “adult” I tried to sort out and reconcile my childhood introjects by unconsciously repeating the same ineffective behaviors I had developed in reaction to them.

When I finally understood (with some very supportive help) and began to bring up and let go of introjects that no longer served a useful purpose, I could also begin releasing my unwanted compulsive behavior.

I think of the whole circular process of introjection and the subsequent awareness and release as “binging and purging.”  As a child I was compelled to “eat” whatever the authorities could dish out, and as an adult I want to heave until I get it out of my system.

-  A.G.R