Note: S-l-o-w Learner is a series based on the premise that I seem to require more time than most to learn basic life lessons.
As I try to absorb the impact of turning 60 today, my mind is flooded with questions: what have I accomplished, what else do I want to do and how did I get to this milestone so fast? It doesn’t feel like the tumultuous mid-life crisis I experienced in the my 40’s, and since I’d be surprised if I lived to 120, I suppose I’d characterize this experience as a later-life crisis.
It starts with getting accustomed to saying I’m 60. I don’t feel 60, and I’m told I don’t look 60, yet the idea of owning up to 60 gives me pause. Perhaps it’s because I still feel rather unaccomplished and immature for my age. As major league switch-hitter Chili Davis once said, “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” And I find myself agreeing with playwright Tom Stoppard that “age is a high price to pay for maturity.” How can I be chronologically 60 yet feel psychologically closer to 30?
The worst aspect of my later-life crisis is that I feel compelled to review the last 60 years, an exercise that inevitably leads me to focus on all the ways I’ve fallen short of expectation, whether mine or others. I know it’s important to learn from your mistakes, but when you pile up 60 years of oversights, lapses in judgment, blunders great and small, and various and sundry faux pas, it gets overwhelming, even for an emotional masochist like me.
Overlaying this introspective self-analysis is a panicky awareness that time seems to be accelerating. Is there enough left for me to accomplish a dream or two? Can I move forward in a new direction? Or am I better off letting go of lifelong expectations and focusing on self-acceptance and appreciation? Someone a lot wiser than me once said, “Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.”
Maybe the antidote to my later-life crisis is to stop thinking about age at all. Pitching great Satchel Paige posed this profoundly simple question: “How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?” If I could live fully in the present moment, every day would be alive with possibility.
I’m inspired by older people who retain a natural curiosity, a positive attitude and a sense of humor in the face of any and all challenges. These are the folks who will say: “I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.” And they are grateful for each day, as in this anonymous gem: “There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.”
If the period of later-life passes as quickly as the first 60 years have, who has time for a crisis? Why dwell on age and regrets? According to a Guatemalan proverb, everyone is the age of their heart.
- A.G.R
Quotes Source: The
