Note: S-l-o-w Learner is a series based on the premise that I seem to require more time than most to learn basic life lessons.

Among my least favorite folks on the planet are self-help “experts” who dispense simplistic advice in response to complex and challenging issues.  Whenever we encounter such gurus and wizards of the obvious around our household, we just look at each other and say, “You know how you are?  Don’t be that way!”  Or, as my mom used to say, “Snap out of it!”

For example, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you’re a procrastinator, you should probably stop putting off ‘til tomorrow what you can do today.  No kidding!

I recently found a web site that listed the major causes of procrastination as feeling obligated to do something, being overwhelmed by the task, and fear of making mistakes.  And the solutions offered?  Change your feeling to wanting to do something, take it one step at a time, and stop being afraid of making mistakes.  Wow! Why didn’t I think of that?

While I don’t disagree with these suggestions, I don’t find the advice helpful in dealing with issues like rebellion, overwhelm and fear that have plagued me for a lifetime.  How do I change my feelings or stop being afraid?  By wishing it was so?  Just changing my mind?

Here’s a self-help example I found on another web site regarding anger management: when your anger has reached the boiling point (whatever that is), just walk away. 

That sounds reasonable.  Unfortunately, when I’m in the middle of an angry exchange, especially if it’s escalating, I usually don’t have the presence of mind to “just walk away.”  If I was really that present and rational, I probably wouldn’t be so angry in the first place!

Last but not least, another self-help site offers this easy way to “find your life purpose” in 20 minutes:

1) Write (or type) at the top of the page, “What is my true purpose in life?”

2) Write any answer that pops into your head.

3) Repeat Step 2 until you write the answer that makes you cry. 

This is your purpose.

While I believe writing exercises like this can be helpful in stimulating thinking, getting the creative juices flowing, and even producing meaningful insight, I am astounded that anyone would claim in bold headlines that I can find my life purpose in 20 minutes.

I think it would take me at least a half hour.  But then again, I am a s-l-o-w learner.

-  A.G.R